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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Australian goodness

What does it mean to be Australian?

I found a few articles that exemplify Australia perfectly........

The first of these articles was about the annual Wife-Carrying Competition, this year held at the Singleton Countryfest in NSW.

This consists of a 240m track with a compulsory 2 log jumps, two limbo bars, one water hazard (aptly named as well) and one 'mystery' hazard. Sounds like some family fun!

Any technique that keeps the wife's bum off the ground is accepted, with one drop incurring a 5 second penalty. The husband also must wear only one belt, with ropes, sticky tape and other such equipment banned.

The winners (whose names I temporarily forget) will compete in the World Wife Carrying Championships in Finland... exotic!

Of course, here are some photos for us to marvel at this x-treme sport (notice the hardcore abbreviation):

Yep this is the water hazard...

I think the husbands have developed this carrying technique as the most appropriate.



The second article I read was quite long, but equally as funny: some questions asked by foreigners about tourism in Australia. Now for those of us who haven't seen the Chaser's spoof in the USA (youtube it), this is just as good:

(NB: I did not write the answers to the questions - presumably some other self-depricating, dry humoured Australian did.)

An Australian tourism site posted some of the most beguiling questions received by potential travellers to our fair shores, as well as potential answers. It's been an email favourite for years, but we thought it was worth another look. Any of these sound familiar?


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all of our plants fully grown and then sit around watching them die.

Q: My wife and I enjoy walking tours. How long will it take us to get from Perth to Sydney on foot? (Canada)
A: How long did it take you to do your last 4,000 kilometre walk? Bring a bottle of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? If so, can you send me a list of all of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: What is the weather like in Vienna in May? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available year-round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful nation of vegan hunters and gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Are the rattlesnakes in Melbourne deadly? Do you sell anti-venom at the grocery store? (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca, which is where you come from. Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make great pets.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? If so, when? (France)
A: Occasionally, and if so than during our Christmas annual leave.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

- Hurley Who?

PS. What is everyone getting on their jerseys?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

i'm getting tuesday on mine.

get it? XD

Anonymous said...

lol good one hurley who
haha i love the milk & the christmas one :D

Anonymous said...

haha the supermarket one was the best.

Anonymous said...

wtf with the wife carrying, and this post reiterates the general stupidity of a lot of americans.

<()

Anonymous said...

i have heard about the wife carrying before!
strangely enough.

and let us never speak of milk again.

Anonymous said...

americans are so stupid... so why do we care that obama wins so bad?
i had this dream i turned into palin. omg scary stuff

Anonymous said...

knowing you and your scary prophetic dreams, that'll probs happen - watch out lol