Belated movie mash-up

I realised that I had written these movie reviews only to save them on my laptop and forget about them forever. Until now.... But, to be honest, does anyone even care about these movies anymore?? Read on, if you dare.

~~

Toy Story 3

SUCH a great movie! The people at Pixar have fantastic imaginations. I loved the new characters: an evil strawberry-scented Care Bear, a freaky-looking lopsided-eyed baby and a flamboyant Ken doll. Not to mention Pixar seemed like they were catering for the ‘double-digits’ crowd with issues relevant to older kids (eg. Andy going off to college). And it was hilarious. 3D effects a great too.

9/10

Sex and the City 2

Needless to say, I didn’t have very high expectations for this movie. The dialogue was excruciatingly drawn-out at times, especially at the beginning. I think some scenes were included just for the hell of it (eg. bringing 2 changes of Ferragamo, Dior etc clothes for a stroll in the middle of a desert in Abu Dhabi… what the?!) which is a shame because things like this detracted from the real reason why women like SATC so much – that is, it openly discusses real and, at times, taboo issues which women face. Also - the end turns into a bit of a shamble as Samantha goes berserk but it is kind of hilarious as well.

But the clothes. Ohhhh, the clothes. A close up of Carrie’s gold, sparkly Louboutin’s in the first few minutes had me practically salivating. Only one gripe – outfit repeating. Since SJP became Creative-Director of clothing label Halston Heritage, I guess she is just milking it for all it’s worth. There is one Halston Heritage dress which SJP wears in 3 different colours and 2 different lengths. It’s pretty, but was it really necessary? (She also wore the same dress to the MET Gala Ball this year. Overkill.) The Emilio Pucci gown you see Carrie wearing on the SATC 2 posters looks better in the film (probably due to the fact that the movie posters were over-photoshopped). THAT is a hot dress.

If you watch it, bring earmuffs. It would be better if you only saw the clothes and didn’t listen to what the characters were saying.

6/10

Robin Hood

Kinda crappy. Cate Blanchett is ok, but I couldn’t accept her as a brunette. Russell Crowe is old and a bit grey. The King looked a bit to Mediterranean and not English enough. To be honest, nothing much really happens for the duration of the film and the climax (ie. epic battle) is short.

6.5/10

Eclipse

Oh. Mah. Gawd. IT’S EDWARD! And Jacob! [Shirtless!]

Oh Edward... I will love you, lyk, 4 everr.

That alone is probably enough to get the attention of Twihards, but this instalment of the Twilight ‘Saga’ is actually… good. Shocked?

It’s the darkest of the three as the threat of Victoria, the evil vampire, looms close.

I guess all you need to know is Edward is still hot, Jacob is still hotter and Bella is still an emotional, angsty teen (much like D.Read’s post below).

7/10

~~

Thanks for making it to the end.

~Hurley Who?

Who's Reviews: Get Him to the Greek

A strange movie choice, you might say. Well, forced to choose Get Him to the Greek due to the fact that Lucifer and I missed the Prince of Persia session, we were slightly disappointed that we were not going to see chiseled, hairless Jake Gyllenhaal abs, but, rather, Russell Brand’s shock of hairy chest.

The movie is about Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) who is an English has-been rock star planning a comeback concert at the Greek Theatre in LA. Jonah Hill (the cute, chubby dude) plays Aaron Green who works for a record company and is responsible for getting Snow to the Greek Theatre in LA (hence the title of the movie). Of course, things do not run smoothly and in the process of getting Snow from London to LA via Las Vegas, hilarity ensues.

The movie opens with Aldous Snow’s video clip for African Child, a song which was named the 3^rd worst thing for African life (or something to that effect), losing only to “famine and war”. Yep. It’s bad. African stereotypes all round, truly nasty scenes (eg. Snow ‘giving birth’ to an African baby) and writhing, half-naked women galore. The rest of the movie is littered with references to today’s pop culture – there are cameos by Christina Aguilera, Mario Lopez, Pink, the list goes on.

Rose Byrne, plays Jackie Q, Snow’s former girlfriend and a big pop star in her own right. She is hilarious and also brings a bit of seriousness to the movie in the tokenistic ‘confrontation scene’ with Snow. The movie is also peppered with snippets of Jackie Q’s music videos which are hilarious tongue-in-cheek parodies of today’s sexed up female vocal artists.

But there are some truly hilarious moments. Diddy/Piddy/P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Combs (or whatever you call him these days) plays Aaron’s boss, Sergio (weird name, huh?!). He is a diluted version of Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder (note to all: YouTube Les Grossman. You will thank me later). Sergio’s on-going joke about mind f-ing people is quite funny, but after seeing the beauty that is Les Grossman, no-one can ever quite match that performance and I got the feeling that Diddy based a lot of his performance on Grossman.

Another hilarious scene is where Aaron takes a “Jeffrey” – a delightful concoction of every illicit drug known to man (coke, heroin, speed, weed etc). He goes MENTAL and let’s just say in the midst of the chaos, people stroke furry walls, someone gets whacked with a guitar, Aaron gets raped by an over-eager Pussycat Doll-wannabe and Sergio gets hit by a car.

Of course, there are the terrible, terrible cringe-worthy moments. For example, in one scene, Aldous Snow insists that Aaron hide a small bag of heroin in a very private place as they are going through airport security. The movie does not shy away from tasteless laughs such as this. There is another scene so contrived that I spent the whole time cringing and that is where Aaron’s girlfriend, Daphne, insists that she, Aaron and Snow have a… threesome. And. It. Actually. Happens. AWKWARD!

There is no denying that Get Him to the Greek is crass, overtly sexual and in-your-face. But Lucifer and I were surprisingly touched by the vulnerability Russell Brand managed to show towards the end of the movie – underneath all that hair is a truly sweet person (when he is sober) who is emotionally quite fragile. That aspect made the movie a little more enjoyable.

Get Him to the Greek gets a 6/10 from me, 6.5/10 from Lucifer. But for being surprisingly emotional and touching, and if we’re nicer, it’d be a 7/10.

~ Hurley Who?

eighthsteet is back.. with mola-mola!

Due to popular demand, the creators and associates of eighthstlaundry are resurrecting this currently moribund blog, so watch out for some flamin' posts soon. Yeahh, hype!

To tide our loyal readers over until then, here are some piccys of one of the most bizarre underwater creatures I've never seen: the humble ocean sunfish (aka mola-mola)!

(Angelina Jolie lips above)

Isn't the last one pretty??

c.l.

better out than in

Cover your ears if you do NOT wish to hear this glorious indulgence of frank and unabashed affront to political correctness, the sensitivities of others and to general civility. I need to watch this show.



Found here: http://www.thrfeed.com/2010/01/insanely-vulgar-better-off-ted-outtakes-video.html

[disco.read]

taking the piss

Funneh. Down with playbacks!



{disco.read}

USB styling...or lack of.

I know Her cules has a lego USB, courtesy of a kind family member, that looks very similar to the one below.

I have also seen a friend which has one of the penguin USBs:

For some pretty weird ones check out http://www.uphaa.com/blog/index.php/usb-key-hilarius/; if you cbb, here are some other ones:

~Louis Tiffon

This made me smile

Off: http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/the-talented-roosendaal-rats.html

~Louis Tiffon

Fed up with your food?

An amusing site: http://hospitalnotes.blogspot.com/

written by a man extremely fed up with hospital food he offered to make 'hospital food bingo' for people to try and guess what was being served.

CUSTOMER FOOD SATISFACTION SURVEY
BLOGTOWN GENERAL HOSPITALQ:

When ordering your food, was the hostess helpful in taking your order?

A: If helpful means throwing a menu through the door, like a piece of meat being tossed into a lions’ enclosure… then yes.

Q: Were you offered a choice?

A: Yes… a choice of three equally ghastly main courses.

Q: Did you get the food you chose?

A: Yes… unfortunately.

Q: How did you score the hospital food?

A: By awarding each dish between one and five Rennies.

Q: Did the food look appealing?

A: Probably… if you’re a famine victim.

Q: How would you describe the preparation of the food?

A: Haphazard and chaotic.

Q: How would you describe your health over the past four weeks?A: How do you think? I’m in a bloody hospital for Christ’s sake!

Q: Do you consider yourself to have special dietary needs?

A: Only since eating your food.

Teehee.

{disco.read}

home truth #10501

image: marc johns.

C.L.

New Moon... again...

I was recently emailed this pic. The sender very wisely knew that it would make me laugh... Heee heeeheheheee

Giggles are the anaesthetic for getting through trials... :(

~ Hurley Who?

Movie Review: Easy Virtue

Count Lucifer and I had been wanting to watch Easy Virtue for a while now, and we finally did this morning, while getting up to our usual holiday shenanigans.

Our initial reactions were:

Ooh Ben Barnes!! (more Count Lucifer's reaction)

Oh Colin!! (ok, more my reaction)

Jessica Biel's face is oddly proportioned...

I want to strangle the mother....

The movie is directed by Stephan Elliot, who also directed Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and he brings some of his cruder humour from Priscilla into Easy Virtue. Jessica Biel plays Larita, a hardcore race car driver from the US, who marries Ben Barnes, the 'prodigal son' of a snobby English family, the Whittakers, whose character's name I just forgot... I think it's John? Josh? Eh something like that.

Anyway, it's a 'Meet the Parents' type movie which is set in the roaring 20s with charming upholstery, the rambling English countryside, large mansions, sparkly jewellrey, very beautiful costumes and that short, wavy gelled hair which I find defies gravity most of the time.....

Larita gets into some sticky situations (involving deaths of dogs, murder cases, hayfever, smoking, Can Can dances without underpants, fox hunts on motocycles... you get the idea) and the mother, Mrs Whittaker (who is played well by Kristin Scott Thomas) can't stand her because she's beautiful and independent, she has been married before and also has the name 'Mrs Whittaker'. SMH's review said that Jessica Biel was "blonde and willowy... and exudes a degree of glamour that is anathema to the Whittakers' tweedy standards of dress and deportment." So true, so true.

Eventually, the Mrs Whittaker drives Larita insane because of their constant bickering. The ending is a sort-of-but-not-really conclusion to the movie, and is apparently the best part of the film, so I won't spoil it.

Colin Firth plays a laconic Mr Whittaker (father of Ben Barnes), whose detached outlook on life, and cynical, dry humour is hilarious (kind of reminiscent of Mr Bennet in P&P).

Jessica's earrings in this outfit are so nice... you can't really see them up close here, but they are totally encrusted with diamonds and probably cost more than my house... Oh wishful thinking...

Eg.

Mrs. Whittaker: Smile, Marion.

Marion Whittaker: I don't feel like smiling.

Mr. Whittaker: You're English dear, fake it.

---

Mrs. Whittaker: You're smiling, Jim.

Mr. Whittaker: Oh God forbid. The wind might change.

Jessica Biel's character is mature, sophisticated and headstrong although she smokes like a chimney. Her costumes are quite masculine, but she is able to pull off wearing those wide legged pants which anyone with an ounce of fat would just look TRAGIC in. She doesn't have convincing chemistry with Ben Barnes, but their overall attractiveness overrides that fact. However, her chemistry with Colin Firth is electric!!! Larita takes an immediate liking to Mr Whittaker just because he doesn't demonise her. While watching this, I secretly wanted them to run off into the sunset together but then thought... EW! Incest! He's her father-in-law!!!!!

This is from the 'tango' scene where we definately know that there is electrifying chemistry between Firth and Biel... gives you a kind of strange feeling of delight but strangeness...

Ben Barnes is a bit of a cad, even if he is nice to look at. He's naive and swept away by how glamorous Larita is, and doesn't really have any sense of responsibility as a husband or son.

And the mother... oh the mother. Where to start? She's got a misguided sense of "moral responsibility" over the family which can compensate for Ben Barnes's lack thereof, which is SO ANNOYING and forces her to intefere all the time! You love to hate her... or hate to love her? Both I think. It's just that she acts quite well in the movie, and you want to wring her neck but you think, 'you're acting is so good as the disgruntled mother-in-law', even if she does wear hairy cardigans.

Overall, it's pretty good. Funny dialogue, visually flamboyant in a way, not-too-bad acting and an unexpectedly satisfying ending (which makes you think: YEA! STICK IT TO THE [WO]MAN!) make it range from a 7-8 out of 10.

I'd say watch it if you're in the mood for a holiday-friendly, enjoyable romp! (ROMP! That's the first and last time I'll use that word)

~ Hurley Who?

Follow up...

Everyone remember Disco Read's Dr Seuss quote?

I found this nice image on the net:




Have a nice Easter break (we definately need it!) I will do nothing for at least one day... how liberating!!


~ Hurley Who?

PS. The emo easter bunny...

Vanity is Fair

Remember this?

Tom Ford, Scarlett Johansson, Keira Knightley

Well Vanity Fair have done it again... but this time perhaps not with 'artistic merit' in mind... What do you think? Art and humour? Plus they have a tag along... (oh Jason)

Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Jason Segal

I love Seth Rogen. He's so funny.

~ Hurley Who?

extreme unction!

All I can say is that Bill Bailey (you may have seen him from Never Mind The Buzzcocks or Black Books, he is the half-balding man resembling some sort of forest rodent) is quite hilarious. Here are the lyrics from his "Love Song":

"I was alone, my heart was cold, it was a stone, my soul was lonely like a stone there was no moss! And when I danced, I danced alone but then I did not dance because I was alone. So I did not dance. I shuffled through life invisible to all the happy couples who would mock me with their merry laughter ha ha ha. The only sound I heard in my lonely silent world was the rusty hammer of my heart, nailing at the hatred in my soul!

But then you came. And my life was turned upside down. You showed me the beauty of the things that I had never seen like a, snowflake that melts on the eyelash of a startled deer. Or the painting of the dog that wears a deersoaker and smokes a pipe that made you laugh so hartily, but which I had previously thought was rubbish. Or the duck thats so clumsily on a frozen pond in winter but the intoxicating power of our love transforms this simple act into an anthropomorphic drama. Where Mr Duck's embarrased and the other ducks are laughing.

AND THEN YOU LEFT! I have died a thousand deaths and will die a thousand more! I thought you were an angel, you turned out to be a whore! Everything has turned to dust, everything is infected with a plague when you had to sleep with Craig. "Oooo he's so sensitive, he's got a tattoo" Yea, carving your name with a compass in my forehead was not enough for you!

The snowflake on the eye of the deer, has turned to puss that oozes from an open wound. The deer now blinded stumbles into a ravine. The duck lies shredded in a pancake. Soaking in the hoisin of your lies. The dog has moved from the pipe to 60 cigarrettes a day, And coughs away his life in the cold neon research lab, of your betrayal Of your betrayal! "

Go search it on youtube because I cannot be bothered to find it. Also another comedian - Omid Djalili - who puts his Iranian ethnicity to hilarious effects. Go look him up too.

Comment of the day: An over-zealous Twilight die-hard comments on a neutral review of the film: she writes something like "OMG twilight is like my FAVOURITE movie ever and I haven't even seen it!!!!!!!!!"

Oh, and today I was looking something up in the dictionary and stumbled across the entry for "anointing of the sick" and down the bottom it said: "previously called extreme unction". Take what you will from it.

[disco.read]

Personal Joke space

Personal jokes... this is for DR.

DR at 3.00pm today: "that's bad, man, really bad".


- Hurley Who?

PS. If you don't get it, don't worry... only DR and I get it...

Australian goodness

What does it mean to be Australian?

I found a few articles that exemplify Australia perfectly........

The first of these articles was about the annual Wife-Carrying Competition, this year held at the Singleton Countryfest in NSW.

This consists of a 240m track with a compulsory 2 log jumps, two limbo bars, one water hazard (aptly named as well) and one 'mystery' hazard. Sounds like some family fun!

Any technique that keeps the wife's bum off the ground is accepted, with one drop incurring a 5 second penalty. The husband also must wear only one belt, with ropes, sticky tape and other such equipment banned.

The winners (whose names I temporarily forget) will compete in the World Wife Carrying Championships in Finland... exotic!

Of course, here are some photos for us to marvel at this x-treme sport (notice the hardcore abbreviation):

Yep this is the water hazard...

I think the husbands have developed this carrying technique as the most appropriate.

The second article I read was quite long, but equally as funny: some questions asked by foreigners about tourism in Australia. Now for those of us who haven't seen the Chaser's spoof in the USA (youtube it), this is just as good:

(NB: I did not write the answers to the questions - presumably some other self-depricating, dry humoured Australian did.)

An Australian tourism site posted some of the most beguiling questions received by potential travellers to our fair shores, as well as potential answers. It's been an email favourite for years, but we thought it was worth another look. Any of these sound familiar?

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all of our plants fully grown and then sit around watching them die.

Q: My wife and I enjoy walking tours. How long will it take us to get from Perth to Sydney on foot? (Canada)
A: How long did it take you to do your last 4,000 kilometre walk? Bring a bottle of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? If so, can you send me a list of all of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: What is the weather like in Vienna in May? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available year-round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful nation of vegan hunters and gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Are the rattlesnakes in Melbourne deadly? Do you sell anti-venom at the grocery store? (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca, which is where you come from. Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make great pets.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? If so, when? (France)
A: Occasionally, and if so than during our Christmas annual leave.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

- Hurley Who?

PS. What is everyone getting on their jerseys?

Chindogu follow-up

This is a follow-up from my older post about Chindogu, or wacky Japanese inventions.

Browsing the internet, I came across more photos of these inventions - my favourites are for the sleepy commuters so I've added a double whammy tribute.

This invention encourages people to dress up like vending machines to protect themselves from getting mugged. (Of course! THAT's the answer to street violence!)

Perfect for the coming summer, this is the air-conditioned shirt.

This is a back scratching t-shirt. Point to the grid where you're feeling itchy and a helpful friend will scratch away.

Ahhh... variations of attractive head gear for sleepy commuters. If only CityRail were so innovative...

This is by far the wierdest. This is a 'washing machine' you can strap to your ankle. I guess you could only wash undies, it's so small.

And this one, the 'Swiss Army Shovel'. How do you even get those parts out? It's hard enough on a conventional-sized swiss army knife.

- Hurley Who?