Out of these 108 seemingly-useless-but-will-one-day-most-likely-save-my-like cards, I chose 5 which I think will test even those with the most intellectual of brains before they roll on the floor laughing like me (which may have only happened because of exam stress). Here they are:
How do you properly survive a landslide?
A) Curl yourself into a tight ball, protecting your head
B) Wrap yourself around a tree. It will happen anyway, so you might as well do it to begin with
C) Run with the landslide and if possible, pick up a log to surf on it with
Answer (highlight): A. But C seems funner (yes I know that isn't a word)
How do you stop a car when the brakes have gone out (on the freeway)?
A) Find a large barricade, and when 10m away from it, turn the wheel hard to the left and slide into it sideways
B) Honk at other cars to get them out of the way, while simultaneously accelerating to run out of petrol
C) Find another moving car and hit it from the back. Honk at the other driver to stop
Answer: C
How do you safely approach a seal?
A) Log roll towards it
B) Lie flat, bob your head up and down and mimic seal movements as best as you can
C) Imitate a seal squeak and once it has lost interest in you, it is safe to approach
Answer: B, despite how idiotic you will look
How do you attack an alien?
A) Go for the eyes. It will be the only sensitive area you easily identify
B) Never attack an alien. Alien abductions only take place for research purposes
C) Jump up and down to distract it, then punch it in the mouth and run
Answer: A
How do you catch a bird at sea?
A) Place bait in the water, and when the bird approaches ‘stun’ it with a paddle
B) Place bait in your boat. When the bird begins to eat it, throw a towel/blanket over it
C) Use a hook and line. Float bait on the water and wait until the bird is caught in the hook
Answer: C. But A made me lol.
Rate your score!
Less than 5 – Boo
5 – Wow you’re smart, are you sure your name isn’t whitebread?
- Whitebread
7 comments:
haha, they all reminded me of those PE questions which were like "if there are lots of people drowning at once, who should you save?
a) the unconscious one
b) the injured one eg. broken spine :)
c) the trashing around, this-person-sinking-wouldnt-be-much-of-a-loss one
d) the person, who, miraculously, is calmly floating in the survival position (arms folded over chest)
and funnily enough, the answer was always c.
p.s. i got 5- eat your words!
... actually, i lie. i cheated on all of them (which, as the cards themselves would say, is the best policy).
lol
stun it with the paddle!
so how is catching a bird a matter of life or death situation i may one day encounter?
mrs cake i can tell you didnt get 5 on this quiz as you are clearly lacking in intelligence. one day you will be stuck on a life raft in the ocean for 10 days and you will see how learning how to catch a sea bird is a matter of life or death
you need food cake.c. to eat in the ocean. and if you're not like pi patel and conveniently have a boat full of animals, you need to eat birds.
ew.
i actually thought it was A).
how do you physically stun a bird? it's not like a stun gun or anything. got to have some power behind the force. (something I don't think many of us could achieve.)
Q: What if the bird sunk?? and you couldn't get it because it was a paddle-length away and that's longer than your arm?? ANSWERS PLEASE!
Leave the bird. Go for the seaweed - it's easier to catch, and there's HEEAAPS of it.
I'm sure if you have the muscles to stun the bird with your paddle, you have the muscles to lift the bird up with your paddle. =P
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